The floods currently seeping through the Thai capital of Bangkok are the most ridiculous floods in the history of mankind, or dinosaurkind, claims a man on the scene.
Moys Kenwood, 38, has told friends that, contrary to other floods, where raging torrents of water engulf entire areas of a country after prolonged, violent storms, the Bangkok 'floods' are taking place after a month of lovely sunny weather, with not a hint of a raindrop in sight.
India and Bangladesh regularly experience flooding, but normally after a monsoon. Pictures of people stranded on the tops of houses or clinging desperately to bits of wood as makeshift rafts are not uncommon, but the only emergency action so far having been taken by the residents of Bangkok, has been the purchasing of extra noodles 'just in case'.
And, whilst some areas of the city are, indeed, inundated with slowly-meandering streams of water, others - notably the business and commercial sections owned by the 'filthy rich' - have remained as dry as your grandma's fanny.
Said Kenwood:
"I bought meself a pair of wellies yesterday, but I haven't seen any water yet. Only on the telly. People have reported seeing crocodiles swimming on what, last week, were main roads, but I'll believe that when one bites me."
