Obama Demands Donald Trump's Birth Certificate

Funny story written by Nash D. Plott

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

In a surprising turn of events President Barack Obama has issued a formal request to examine the birth certificate of real estate magnate Donald Trump.

The question of Trump's paternity arose recently following the so-called "birther" debate surrounding President Obama's own nationality. In a short-lived bid for candidacy in the 2012 presidential race Trump was strongly critical of President Obama for his failure to produce a birth certificate to prove his American citizanship. In an ironic twist, Trump cast doubt upon his own American citizenship during a tirade against President Obama by waving his own birth certificate in front of a group of approximately 1200 Shriners in a Philadelphia hotel. A high resolution snapshot showed the birth certificate to belong to Malenew York. Questioned about the document Trump claimed that his name had been legally changed from Malenew to Donald shortly after his birth; however, upon closer examination the document proved to bear a comma that had been whited out, with the original reading "Male, New York". Such documents are commonly issued to abandoned children whose true parentage cannot be determined.

It has been frequently noted in the past that Trump's 6'2" stature, blue eyes and ruddy complexion stand in distinct contrast to the distinctly Oriental features of Trump's parents and siblings. Trump is also the only member of his immediate family who does not speak fluent Mandarin. Democratic pundits lost no time in seizing the opportunity to label Trump as a "foundling", suggesting on the basis of undisclosed sources that that his true nationality may in fact be Norwegian.

The Oval Office has distanced itself from such efforts to discredit Trump. In a brief press release last Wednesday President Obama stated, "I do not personally endorse this line of investigation regarding Mr. Trump's nationality. Nonetheless the document does raise interesting questions, as does Trump's passionate love of smoked herring and cross-country skiing. Mr. Trump's nationality may be a moot point if he does not seek to make a presidential bid; however, any formal declaration of candidacy on the part of Mr. Trump will inevitably reopen the issue for scrutiny. It may be in the best interest both of Mr. Trump and of the American public if Mr. Trump were to respond proactively and produce the original documents related to his birth and nationality in order to put these rumors to rest".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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