Dog With Two Assholes Puzzles Mueller and Comey

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 29 August 2011

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Former FBI Director James Comey, worried about his reputation for lying hurting his book sales, was seen at a Washington watering spot talking to his old friend Robert Mueller, to see if he had any ideas that might help him win back approval from President Trump and the American public.

After a few cocktails, a light-bulb went off in Mueller's head. "Jimbo, I have a plan to win back your reputation that will also sell books."

"Wonderful Bobby, but how?" asked the former FBI Head.

"You know how Americans love dogs and automatically trust people when they have a dog in tow? Remember when Richard Nixon used his dog Checkers to rebuild his image? Hey, why don't you and I go on Hannity's show and take your dog with you? He will love meeting Hannity, who I understand is a dog lover himself."

And so off to FOX NEWS the three of them went. With Comey's dog on a leash, they walked down the Avenue of the Americas to the News Corp. Building. As they about to enter, the incredulous doorman took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you James Comey and Robert Mueller? What are you numbnuts doing here? This is conservative country."

As they were waiting in the Green Room before their interview with Hannity, a stage hand walked over to the dog, lifted up his tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out without saying a word. A few minutes later, in came a make-up artist. She glanced at both Mueller and Comey, said, "Hi," walked over to the dog, lifted up his tail, looked underneath, scratched her head and left the room. For the ten minutes or so, another dozen of the crew came in and lifted the dogs tail, checked underneath, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, the puzzled James Comey asked one of them, "Why did all of you guys come in and check under my dogs's tail? Is something wrong with my dog?

"Hell no," he responded. Someone's out there running around the building claiming there's a dog in the Green Room with two assholes."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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