Powerful tremor strikes East Coast just as Manhattan DA begins Strauss-Kahn rape charges apologia

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

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As Above So Below: the tremor was timed to perfection according to astrologers

New York - The full karmic force of celestial wrath was felt in the United States today just as the Sun entered Virgo, sign of the Harvest and the Reap-As-You-Sow Goddess, at around 1.52 pm local time.

Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance was reported to had just begun an extremely tricky press conference detailing why criminal sexual assault charges had been dropped against ex-IMF CEO Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

The sixty-something Frenchman has seen all charges dropped - despite the accused's attorney threat to publish details of forensic medical evidence in the alleged attack at a Downtown hotel room three months ago.

Three hundred and twenty-five miles away in Mineral, near Richmond, Virginia the 5.9 quake struck suddenly with rippling tremors felt as far away northwards as Washington DC, New York City and Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts and as far south as Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

"We're badly shaken," a NYC lawyer acting for the thwarted accuser hotel maid Nafissatou Diallo told reporters, "both physically and otherwise.

"It's been a bolt-from-the-blue kinda day for my client... so weird with the judgement being delivered just as most New York public buildings were being evacuated."

Aftershocks have been reported this evening as far away as Niagara Falls where the icy foaming waters were reported to turn a strange blue color soon after the quake first struck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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