"Tookie" Williams Pays Pre-dawn Visit to Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funny story written by jd Balderdash

Saturday, 17 December 2005

image for "Tookie" Williams Pays Pre-dawn Visit to Arnold Schwarzenegger

"TOOKIE! He's HEE-ah!" aides report the California governor yelling, screaming for his life before plummeting head-first down 3 flights of stairs fleeing
from his bedroom in the governor's mansion at 4 AM after the alleged departed spirit of convicted killer,"Tookie "Williams reportedly appeared by the governor's bedside with a meat cleaver and "grimaced" at the governor.

"TOOKIE is HEE-AH!" the governor, white as a sheet rinsed in Tide kept rambling, aides said, the governor having to be given a mild sedative, a full glass of Ovalteen and a "Very Berry" grape Gummy Bear before returning to bed. Downstairs. Surrounded by security guards. With all the lights on. Manilow on the Bose, HSN on the tube.

One mansion securty guard said,

"Thankfully the governor, almost used to tumbling down multiple flights of stairs as the Terminator suffered only minor head and brain injuries during the 3 story plummet". The security guard, talking to reporters went on to say,

"I personally don't believe in ghosts. The governor must have simply had a bad dream because we searched his bedroom, ABOVE his mattress, BELOW his mattress, found no sign of 'Tookie' Williams although we DID find a couple of well worn copies of .. uh, can you strike that last remark? Thanks."

Tookie Williams, executed Dec 13th repeatedly, down to the last few minutes of his life pleaded with the governor to SPARE his life. Staff and employees at "Memorial Rest" funeral home in Los Angeles however say that THAT particular scenario did NOT transpire.

Mansion security chief Victor Goldsmith told reporters,

"We'll be monitoring the governor's bedroom tonight. IF the governor chooses to sleep in his bedroom tonight which at THIS point .."

"Chilling words, TOOKIE is HEE-AH!" says CNN's Nancy Grace. Grace said,

"I'm not sure of the Ex-post-FACTO legal ramifications of a dead person assassinating a United States governor with a meat cleaver but tune in to tonight's Nancy Grace after Larry interviews somebody and we'll chat about it .. 10 PM Central."

President Bush phoned governor Schwarzenegger this morning and offered words of encouragement and hope saying,

"Hang in there governor, you'll make it. Tookie won't 'BE BACK' lol. In fact, there's even a spirit following ME around everywhere I go trying to destroy me. I hope she's left Crawford by now coz me and Laura wanna head back to the ranch round the 23rd, roast some chestnuts over the open fire if you catch my yultetide drift."

Governor Schwarzenegger,unavailable for comment having, apparently already

"Done LEFT the Mansion"

is currently, according to CIA/NASA/GPS/Sprint satellite cell phone tracking data somewhere south of Sydney headed ,, "due south" if not farther.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more