A Bachmann-Palin Ticket or is it a Palin-Bachmann Republican Ticket in 2012

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Monday, 18 July 2011

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"Only a Four Year Democratic Lease"

Tampa Bay FL: The 2012 Republican National Convention has selected Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as their standard bearers to run against Democratic President Barack Obama and VP Joseph Bidden.

The various Republican primaries and caucuses could not select a clear winner, such that the party chiefs decided to take the selection process to the convention delegates to resolve. It took 27 ballots to finally select a winner from among former House Speaker Gingrich, TX Representative Paul, former AK Governor Palin, former AR Governor Huckabee, CEO Cain, former MA Governor Romney, MN Representative Bachmann, PA Senator Santorum, former MN Governor Pawlenty, IN Governor Daniels, former UT Governor Huntsman, former LA Governor Roemer, former FL Governor Bush, NJ Governor Christie and TX Governor Perry.

Representative Bachmann (R-MN) and former Alaska Governor Palin, while the clear front runners, still wound up in a tie vote of the assembled convention delegates. At issue is that the US has various voting blocs other than Republicans, Democrats and Independents. These blocs are Women Voters (includes soccer moms), African-American Voters, Jewish Voters, Gay Voters, Hispanic Voters, Evangelical Voters, Catholic Voters and White Male Voters. These designations overlap, but snagging the Women's Vote by having two women on the ticket could negate President Obama's strength with other voting blocs.

Suggestions were taken from convention delegates as to how to fairly break this dead-heat, naming one woman as the presidential candidate and the other as the vice presidential candidate.

Fight a duel, which would seriously alienate some Women Voters, ruin someone's day and possibly necessitate selecting a male candidate from the Republican candidates roster was dismissed.

Flip a coin like in a pro-football game, but this method creates psychological problems for many women delegates who are football widows during football season.

Ask US House and Senate Republicans to draft legislation to amend the US Constitution to repeal the 12th amendment requiring the Electoral College to vote for both President and Vice President. Thus, the candidate who received the largest number of electoral votes, which was also the majority of the Electoral College, would become president and the candidate who received the second largest number of votes would become vice-president.

Assuming the American voters would elect two Republicans, the electorate would decide which of the ladies is to be president and which is to be vice president. However, since there are two Democrats in the race, some strange combinations of president and vice president political affiliations could occur. There is also not enough time to get any new Constitutional amendment ratified by the states prior to the general election in November 2012.

The Republican Party leadership decided to extend the convention to resolve the Bachmann Palin impasse, prior to November 2012. Senior Republican officials anticipate numerous floor fights until the issue is finally settled. Tampa Bay hotel owners, restaurants and caterers are overjoyed as August is the rainy season.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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