As More Information Surfaces about US Presidential Candidate, Freddy the Frog's Background, There are more questions than Answers

Written by mikewadestr

Sunday, 10 July 2011


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I was a good kid!

This is the second of a series of two articles pertaining to US Presidential candidate, Freddy the Frog.

Shortly after reaching adulthood, Freddy the Frog realized that he was not put on Earth to be a frog.

He despised the fact that he would have to spend the rest of his life living in a canal and sitting on a log, a log that was surely made for a frog. He would live every day in complete terror due to the fact that he may be someone's meal, and not being able to vote for the next American Idol.

He became ambitious in the business sense, which basically means that he screwed over pretty much everyone, and started putting some of his flies into a repository that was sanctioned by the Chinese bank Ka-Ching. Freddy, also, collected fishing hooks from anglers who weren't very anglerable from the C&O canal as well as the Potomac River below.

Breaking News: 250 of Freddy the Frog's siblings have mysteriously disappeared! Police are investigating.

After collecting a good stash of flies and hooks, Freddy headed to a local flea market to sell his wares.

Freddy took all of his flies and put the hooks that he had found through them and passed them off to a bunch of trout fisherman as authentic trout flies. Freddy, also, sold all the trout fisherman in Washington DC trout fishing licenses, which do not exist.

After selling all of his wares, Freddy got the fuck out of the place before any of the fly fishermen realized that they had been duped.

While some people may say that Freddy scammed a bunch of trout fisherman, Freddy claimed that it was a politician's prerogative.

Advertisement: Murray's Tavern is having an all you can eat frog leg night as well as half price draft beers between 7 and 10 PM this Thursday.

With the money that Freddy earned selling his "flies", Freddy went and found himself an all night taxidermist and with his help, Freddy redefined himself as a cuddly stuffed, fuzzy frog. Freddy figured that he would immediately appeal to women, being so soft and cuddly and so huggable.

So here we are today.

Freddy the Frog is running for the United States Presidency.

Can Freddy win?

Who knows, it's an uphill battle and his chances of getting eaten by a Blue catfish or ending up on Murray's Tavern's menu are way better than winning the US Presidency.

But you never know. Anything is possible.

More on this story as it breaks!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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