Laziest animals to date...

Funny story written by Gee McGinnis

Friday, 25 November 2005

Today in parks around the US, a study done by the reserchers of animal studys found, that nearly half of animals in parks, homes, and even zoos, have been "smoked up". Among the boxes of pictures and video footage, there studies may make ways of new laws to how we care for our pets. I spoke with the Dr. Summit about the studies and he had this to say. "The fact that the animals are being subjected to this is one thing, but to see them do it with out any force or restraint is simply new to us!" and went on to speak about videos and actual sit ins of the events taking place.

"My Dog loves it man, I start smoking and Jerry comes right up and gets in on it too" Stated a man of Kissamee, Fl. It seems this has gone on longer than some of us have even imagined, and to see how it effects them is just now coming to view. "I'll go to the park man, and instead of feeding the ducks, I just get them high, I think they like it." Quoted from J.K. Johnson of Los Angles, CA. Unlike humans who smoke dope, weed, gonja, how ever the slang you use. The animals seem to relax and settled, the labs monkey has been tested for 3 years, and mostly has shown fatige and creativeness.

Another concern of the studies are the fact that they are now seeing Crack-cocaine, Opiem, and even Camels are being inhaled by animals. "Through out our studies, Crack is not the problem, ciggarettes are. When given all three, our subject mostly went back to this. Sadly, after any thing they tried, the end result would be cigarettes." Dr. Ean Lanuim for cancer studies of NY. So cigarrettes are not sugested to be given to the animals. It makes all of them the most undesirable subjects to study, let alone be around. Reports show, out of all tests inhaled, cannibus was the most improvement in mind, body, and social skills. From what we learn from this, may prove what we have seen for nearly 100 years.

"If you see someone getting there dog, bird, or even spider high, watch in how they react, short term effects, and if it has made a change in there diet." Dr. Fran hights of research for NORML. " They mostly arre calm, collective, and easy to handle under this state of mind". I went to the local park to find some "stoned" pets and happened to catch just that in the act! As the dog inhaled the fumes of smoke, it would wag it's tail, lick it's lips, and even smell it's owners pants, not much of a change. But after 15 mins of waiting, the dog became quite the collective one, as if it was more aware of it's surroundings. More studies to be reviewed before this study comes to court, stay tuned.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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