Sopranos Growing Up Watching Gotti Boys

Funny story written by Neil Levine

Friday, 26 August 2005

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Secret Ingredient To Marketing Success Revealed

HBO and A&E, Check Your Local Cable Listings---Currently on cable in their fourth season and DVD for all five seasons, Da Sopranos are gonna begin shooting, oops, filming their sixth season soon and then are gonna go for a seventh stab at the video game.

Don't forget Tony is separated from Carmela, stills sees Dr. Melfi, worries about Meadow and Tony, Jr. and continues to look for business opportunities wherever they pop up or he can make something happen.

Someone has proposed they look to joining the Gotti boys, who have successfully moved into the tanning and food industries. The following are alleged selections from The Biggest Hits of Tony Soprano And The Gang.


"Not bad," says Tony. "People gotta eat and who wants to look like they've been cooped up in the house all day."

"I don't want to be cooped up!" echoes Silvio Dante.

"Nobody wants to be cooped up," concludes Tony.

"That's their business," agrees Silvio Dante.

"We can do business," says Tony.

"Yeah, we can do business," repeats Silvio. "I like doing business."

"So what are we gonna do? Tony asks rhetorically.

"Yeah, what are we gonna do? repeats Silvio.

Tony, "I'll tell you what we're gonna do!"

Silvio, "Yeah, what are we gonna do?

Tony, "We're gonna look into the Gotti boys businesses."

Silvio, "But they're just kids."

Tony, "But they've got business."

Silvio, "What if business is not good?"

Tony, "Then we've got nothing to worry about."

Silvio, "We don't have to worry."

Christopher Moltisanti, "Not any more."

Silvio, "Hey, I hear Frankie Gotti sank 80Gs into the tanning salon."

Tony, "I could use 80Gs."

Christopher, "It's the kid's money."

Silvio, "I hear he's a good kid."

Tony, "Where does a kid get 80Gs?"

Christopher, "Where would you get 80Gs?"

Tony, "I reguse to answer on the grounds I'm not sure. There are tings I could look into. But where did the kid get 80Gs? You tink his father gave it to him?"

Christopher, "Nah. All his relatives are on vacation. I think he got paid for being Carmine Agnello's son and John Junior Gotti's nephew. He's cute. He's like a media type. His mother Victoria Gotti is a media personality."

Tony, "A media personality?"

Christopher, "Yeah, they pay you for being on tv. Just ask James Gandolfini, Steve Van Zandt or Michael Imperioli."
Christopher, "All the Gotti kids, John, Frankie, Carmine, are media personalities."

Tony, "Media personalities shmersonalities. What I want to know is can the Gotti boys make good? And what are we gonna do about it?" .

Christopher, Silvio together in unison, "Nothing. What can we do? You want to start a war? The Gottis know people."

Tony, "We got a war in Iraq. I don't think Carmela or A.J. or Meadow or Cindy Sheehan would like another war."

Christopher, Silvio, "Make love not war!"

*...*...* *

The tape runs out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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