Obama Administration to Create 15 Million New Jobs

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Friday, 10 June 2011

image for Obama Administration to Create 15 Million New Jobs
A Delivery Person

Washington DC: The Obama administration has devised a plan to add over 15 million new jobs to the US economy while being liberal, politically correct, maintaining a somewhat greener environment, reducing energy costs and employing computer technology.

The new job strategy could affect over 200 million homes and dwellings in the US by providing improved personal customer service from participating businesses that communicate with the buyer via the internet. Family breadwinners need only consider commuting to work, while the necessities of life are hand delivered by union members to their abodes in non-plastic bags. The concept is known as the just-in-time delivery service.

The Ice Person delivers blocks of ice to keep fresh foods and beverages refrigerated in a new ice box. The nasty FREON gas based refrigerator is disposed of, saving money and the environment.

The Laundry Person picks up soiled clothes and delivers hand washed, folded ironed clothes and shirts. The nasty home washer and dryer, and dry cleaning fluids are disposed of, saving money and the environment.

The Grocery Person delivers only farm fresh healthy food items (certified for Michelle by the food police), with fresh organic vegetables and tofu recommended. Red meat, junk food and soft drinks are also available, but ObamaCare health insurance rates are then doubled for their consumption! (Only locally grown or raised products will be delivered, thus reducing the need for large over-the-road trucks.)

The Milk Person delivers all fat grades of milk products in glass bottles/containers, with fat free items being recommended. ObamaCare health insurance rates are then doubled for using anything but fat free products. Lead free plastic containers may be special ordered from China.

The Coal Person delivers the USA's most abundant fuel, clean coal. Electric, natural gas, wood and oil furnaces are disposed of, saving money and the environment. An engineer working alone in a garage in Kalamazoo MI has derived and given the EPA a chemical formula that allows coal to completely burn without any nasty byproducts!

The Trash/Recycling Person picks up those items, such as, paper, glass and plastic, which are not suitable materials to be employed in a homeowner's compost heap. Oh, yes compost piles are mandatory, unless a waiver is requested!

The Junk Person picks up all those discarded refrigerators, washers and dryers, and non-coal furnaces which are then shipped to third world countries. Factory persons who previously made refrigerators, washers, dryers and obsolete heating systems will be retrained, at government expense, to be reintegrated into the new labor force.

The Computer Service Person maintains the home computers. However, the placement of service calls still has to go through India.

Specific details are currently being worked out by the White House staff of lawyers, but other home delivery services are also being considered such as an ObamaCare Doctor Person and the High Speed Rail Person. Additionally, a tax will be imposed on wealthier American homeowners to pay for the high speed rail transit commuting services provided by the High Speed Rail Person.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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