GOP Congress: "Legalize Marijuana!"

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Friday, 20 May 2011


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When John Boehner stood up to introduce the legislation, it took the nations Capitol, by surprise. The press corps was stunned, the nation shocked, and the Europeans amused.

The Majority Leader of the US House of Representatives was introducing legislation to legalize marijuana! What was more surprising was the bill passed the House with one hundred percent of the Republican and Tea Party votes and enough Democrats to make it an overwhelming victory for those that wish to make marijuana legal.

There were some doubts it could pass the Senate. Then, an industrious reporter from the AP found this obscure item in the financial Times of London. Koch Brothers Industries have recently purchased a Bong manufacturer in Singapore, dozens of makers of drug paraphernalia in Europe, and one million acres of marijuana fields in Mexico.

A journalist staked out in front of Senator Majority Leader Harry Reid's office spotted Senator Mitch McConnell approaching Reid's office with a big smile on his face and carrying a plate of fresh baked brownies. Reid greeted him with a scowl but welcomed him to his private office. Reporters gathered outside and waited. Twenty minutes later, the two Senators came out smiling and with their arms around each other.

Reid gave McConnell a big hug and spoke to him: "Dude, come over any time. Don't make yourself a stranger. My treat next time and you get to bogart the brownies. "

McConnell spoke: "We have just solved our national debt problem and the debt limit will be raised a gazillion or so, although this shouldn't be a problem even with the forty billion dollars we will be giving to Koch Brothers Industries for subsidies. There will be plenty left over for Wall Street bailouts and congressional junkets to strange and exotic lands."

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that there is laughter, friendship, and a feeling of good will all over the nations Capitol today. The House cafeteria reports running out of chip and dip early in the day as rumors abound that Hamid Karzai has resigned as President of Afghanistan and is moving to the US to become the nations new Drug Czar. This news came as the Koch brothers arrived in Kabul to advise the government on agricultural exports. "Poppies grow in more than just Flanders fields," said David Koch on arrival in Kabul.

In related news, a public opinion poll out this morning states that people in the age bracket 18-30 favor the Republican Party by an astounding seventy-six percent. Eighty percent of those that responded to the survey say they don't really give a shit who the GOP nominates for President in 2012.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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