The View's Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg Nearly Come To "Blows" Over Their Marijuana Issue

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for The View's Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg Nearly Come To "Blows" Over Their Marijuana Issue
Two members of The Whoopi Goldberg Fan Club. (Photo from the Willie Nelson Photo Collection).

LOS ANGELES - The head host of The View Barbara Walters, 81, is literally fit to be tied after getting into an argument with co-host Whoopi Goldberg over the question of marijuana.

Goldberg, 55, has stated that there is nothing wrong with pot and that she has used it in the past and that it has not made her any dumber or any smarter.

Walters came back and told her that it may not have made her any smarter but it did make her dumber. Whoopi shouted that Walter's was just an old fuddy duddy white woman who still thinks that we get all of our wine from grapes.

Barbara shot back by saying that we do get all of our wine from grapes and Goldberg told her to look at the label of some of the more expensive brands of wine and she'll see where under ingredients some make no mention whatsoever of grapes.

Walter's then said that she has talked to media reporters, research scientists, laboratory technicians, and even some politicians and they all say that smoking weed is bad for you as it causes you to sing out loud for no reason, to draw pictures of farm animals out of the blue, and to eat a large sized double cheese double pepperoni pizza in 55 seconds flat and then not remember that you did.

Whoopi yelled out that Walters had probably been doubling up on her doses of Geritol, Compound W, and Preparation H, for her to make such a ridiculous statement.

Blonde co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck tried to say something about that she once heard her husband say some profound remark about using a garden tool or something but before she could finish saying the words pruning shears both Walters and Goldberg told her to shut her funky jive ass mouth up and quit interrupting when grown ups are talking.

Hasselbeck got so embarrassed and upset that she started breaking out in hives.

Joy Behar looked over at Lizzy and started laughing so hard she actually peed her pants and the director had to quickly go to a commercial.

After the commercial Barbara's seat and Whoopi's seat were both empty and Sherri Shepherd said that the director had asked them both to leave before they ended up scratching or biting each other.

The show ended with Joy Behar standing in front of Elisabeth Hasselbeck taking cell phone photo after cell phone photo of her hives.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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