Texas Governor Asks Texans to Pray for Rain

Funny story written by Ellie James

Sunday, 24 April 2011


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David St. Claire's Fishing Boat

Galveston, TX: This past week, Governor Rick Perry of Texas made an official proclamation for days of prayer for rain in Texas. The proclamation states that due to the drought Texas has suffered for months on end and the high winds and hot climate due to the La Nina weather pattern, it is time to pray. According to the proclamation, prayer has strengthened Texans throughout the history of Texas. The days of prayer began on Friday, April 22nd and will end on Sunday, April 24th.

Governor Perry states in the proclamation, "I urge all Texans of all faiths and traditions to offer prayers on that day for the healing of our land, the rebuilding of our communities and the restoration of our normal way of life."

For three days, Texans have been praying. You can't walk through the malls without stepping on someone who is praying for rain. Work has stopped. Play is non-existent for all of Texas is deep in prayer. Wickens had drum circles and prayed. Catholics prayed and bargained with God. Everyone prayed with the exception of one Galveston man.

David St. Claire of the beach town of Galveston didn't hear the Governor's proclamation. Instead, he was fishing on his boat. He prayed, yes. However, he prayed for fish. He caught a lot of fish, and he did thank God for all the fish that were caught. While the rest of Texas was cussing God out for the lack of rain, Mr. St. Claire was feasting on the fish he caught.

While it's true there was some rain that began in West Texas, close to Abilene and traveled to Dallas/Fort Worth, it wasn't enough to heal the land or restore the normal way of life of the vast majority of Texans.

Henry Cooper of Eastland commented, "You mean some guy in Galveston didn't pray for rain? That sorry SOB!"

Meteorologists and theologians alike all agree that it is David St. Claire's praying for fish that has caused the failure of the Governor's plan to end the drought and put out the wild fires at last. When interviewed, Mr. St. Claire said, "Hmmm....I was on my boat. I didn't know anything about a prayer for rain day or nothin', but I sure caught a shit load of grouper!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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