Bush Considers Resignation

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 5 October 2005

image for Bush Considers Resignation
"Well, excuse me."

Reminiscent of a Russian cabal or the quaint country ballad 'I'm My Own Grandpa', the Bush administration is taking steps to avoid the net of prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald from snagging President George W. Bush. Using a pardon by soon to be named President Dick Cheney, (Bush has already pardoned Cheney, Libby and Rove, and unrelated to the Plame affair, also pardoned House majority leader Tom DeLay, Senate majority leader Bill Frist and former Secretary of Education, William Bennett. Bennett's pardon was vaguely geared as a general blank check type thing for past, present and future statements.

The sequence for this Mickey Mouse plan (no offense intended) is for Bush to resign, Vice President Cheney to become President, pardon Bush, appoint Bush as Vice President, after which Cheney will resign, Bush appoints Cheney Vice President. Back to square one. Cheney assured President Bush this would ultimately produce business as usual in Washington. "Few will even take notice and if they do, the media will give each side fifty percent of the arguement, mug at the camera, shrug, end of story."

The plan was successful until Laura Bush noticed Lynne Cheney directing movers moving the Cheney family hot tub; trampoline and brick pizza oven into the White House. Mrs. Bush was further informed that at the Vice President's residence, Maria Shriver was directing movers, on where to place Arnold's weight machines and body building trophies.

"Hey Robocop, we had a deal. You're putting boots on the ground in the White House, but you were suppose to reappoint me Vice President and quit."

"Politics kid. Anyone who believes that kind of deal believes in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, 72 Virgins and Intelligent Design. Get over it. Like Jennifer Aniston said on Oprah last week, 'Turn the page'. This is the next chapter. You aren't in it. You're the kid that's going to be left behind. Connect the dots. I could always appoint you Ambassador to Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, North Korea, or Iran. Who knows, maybe in sixteen years when Arnold and I are finished, there might be a place for you back in Washington. But I'm the real wizard now, and I'm off to be the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz, because, because, because, because, because."

"Where'd he get those shiny red high heels?"

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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