Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

image for President Obama Tells GOP He's Prepared to Cut Beer Conferences & Free Hemorrhoid Cream From National Budget

President Barack Obama has sent word that, as a compromise to the Republicans, he will show 'good faith' and agree to dump his beer conferences from the national budget.

"That will save nearly half a million dollars but you will have to deal with the losses of the Beer Companies what depend on these conferences for much of their income."

Immediately several beer companies have responded that they may send protesters into the streets of Washington DC.

In response, the GOP say that, while cutting half a million dollars in savings will still leave the US with as 14 trillion, 300 billion, 710 and a half million dollars, "It is a first step."

Rand Paul has told the President that the GOP and Dems can avoid any protests by drinking a tad more beer from these companies.

"We can do our part, even though I am from the Tea Party, at our national conventions next year and, even without Teddy Kennedy, we expect the Democrats to do the same."

"This may just be the tip of the beer bottle but at least it's a start that we can all agree upon", agreed Senator Mitch McConnell, a Republican from Kentucky. "Just so long as we don't touch the Bourbon market.

Next on the agenda: Hemorrhoid cream!

"As you all know very well, anyone who sits for Congress has this trouble", stated the President. "My own came after one month of being here from Illinois. I think we should all purchase our own individual supplies. That will take out another twenty-five million and a half from the budget and another twenty-five million and a half dollars if we include hemorrhoid surgery."

"I hope this seats well for all of you. Remember "Cushions! Cushions! Cushions!" as Senator Byrd used to remind us....daily."

Finally, the President did ask for another five million to be added for a vaseline incentive for the US public.

"We need to give the public what it needs to prepare itself for the royal screwing that is coming up next year."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
81 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more