Theory puts Peterson on the spot for people missing on fishing trips

Funny story written by Frank Cotolo

Monday, 22 August 2005

image for Theory puts Peterson on the spot for people missing on fishing trips
Pat Kim McDermott has not returned from a fishing trip. Is Scott Peterson involved?

NORTH BEACH, Calif. - Authorities searching for Olivia Newton John's boyfriend, Patrick Kim McDermott are now seriously concerned about his disappearance from a routine fishing trip a few weeks ago. A major theory has developed.

Search-sea Captain Filo Minderspoon says he feels there is a possibility that McDermott went fishing with convicted killer Scott Peterson.

"There is a slim chance," Minderspoon told reporters while mixing drinks at his beach house, "that Peterson took Mr. McDermott on the same type of fishing trip he was on when his wife Lacy disappeared."

Some people feel this is far fetched, since Peterson is in maximum-security prison awaiting execution. But others feel a flair for the dramatic may solve this case.

"Peterson is a crafty fellow," said local fishing-accident expert Craig Leg. "We may find he is responsible for many people who went fishing and never came back."

"There are no other clues yet," said Clue-specialist Burton Scarf as of Aug. 22. "It might be worth it to trace the time Peterson spent over the past few weeks and see where he could be unaccounted for, because that could be the key."

Minderspoon said, "It is feasible that Peterson found a way to escape from prison, meet with McDermott and invite him fishing, rent a boat, go out with him and return alone, getting back into his cell before anyone was any the wiser."

Professional case-debunker Wally Conocopia disagreed. "Peterson could not have broken out of his cell," he said while building a sandtrap for a local golf course under construction. "Peterson is a slow person. It would take a fast person to pull off such an escape."

Peterson's guards were questioned and they all claimed that Peterson could not have taken McDermott on a fishing trip. "We would have smelled the ocean on him," one guard said, speaking for all of the guards.

Peterson denied ever leaving the prison when a reporter asked if he ever left the prison. "I never left the prison," Peterson told the reporter.

Still, Minderspoon thinks he is on to something. "I don't trust this Peterson guy, not even when he is in solitary confinement. I am going to dig deep and maybe I will find that he is responsible for taking a lot of missing people out for a sporting time on the sea, you know?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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