Homosexuals of America Sue TSA: Pat Downs Are Not Invasive Enough

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Monday, 17 January 2011


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The Homosexuals of America Organization has announced that it is in the process of suing the TSA over concerns that the pat downs that are performed on fliers who refuse to go through the body scans are not invasive enough.

"The TSA is just not doing its job", exclaimed Jerry FeelMe, who is president of the Homosexuals of America. "Their pat downs are a complete joke and are compromising Airline security".

"The idea that you can perform a pat down on someone with their clothes on is ridiculous. How can you find a really small weapon by feeling a man or women through their clothes? Hell, the pat downs are like taking a shower while wearing a raincoat".

"The pat downs are way too short anyway. What happens if I put a miniature nuclear bomb in by bingy? How is a regular pat down going to find it. The TSA agents are going to have to do a bit of jerking around to get it to come out. If the TSA does not know how to do this, I will be more than happy to show them".

"Also", continued FeelMe, "doesn't anyone remember that when we were all back in grade school and did a homework assignment, the teacher would always tell us to have someone else check our work? People should have to go through at least two very long pat downs to ensure that no one is carrying any weapons or bombs".

The vice president of the Homosexuals of America, Nancy DaCavern told us: "The TSA should be performing cavity searches. Believe me, my wawa is really big and I can fit a lot of stuff in it. One of the best ways to empty it out is with a vibrator. A really big vibrator".

When contacted the TSA refused to comment saying that they have not yet received anything from the court.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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