Written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 13 January 2011

image for F. Lee Bailey: OJ Simpson Did Not Turn His Wife Into A Pez Dispenser. And I'm Not Crazy.

Brainsick, disbarred former lawyer F. Lee Bailey's newest book, "Writings From The Booby House," articulates in detail --1,422 pages worth-- just how he can prove that OJ Simpson did not turn his wife into a Pez dispenser in 1994.

How can there be that much evidence?

Are you kidding me? Because he F--KING KILLED THEM!!!

"All of the alleged evidence against Simpson was manufactured by racist cops," writes Bailey. "The bloody glove? Didn't fit OJ. Bloody knife? Where is it? (Disgraced super-racist Simpson investigator) Mark Fuhrman has it."

"Nicole's pet dog Kato did not attack the killer because he knew is was OJ? Bullsh-t," he continues. "Robert Heidstra saw the Ford Bronco? It was Fuhrman. Nicole's condo keys in OJ's possession? Fuhrman planted them." Nicole reported a set of keys missing a few weeks before the slayings."

"Once you get past the testimony that the killer walked from the crime scene and did not run, and OJ drove his Bronco from the murder scene, and the thumps outside his window where the bloody glove is found, and the alleged 'knife bag', and the five bags loaded into the car before he left Rockingham but only three bags at the airport, and OJ throwing Nicole against a wall, and that Nicole makes out her will five weeks before she was murdered, he's clearly innocent."

"Of course," Bailey continued. "You would have to ignore the blood near the killer's footprints that belong to OJ. Oh, and that the chances of the blood belonging to anyone but OJ are about one out of 57 billion, approximately 10 times the current population of the entire world, and the second bloody gloves, and the Bruno Magli shoes, and the blood on the socks, and the hair on Ron Goldman's shirt, and the fibers in the Bronco."

"Once you realize Ron Fuhrman manufactured all of that evidence, OJ is clearly innocent."

Bailey will begin a book tour in March, after he is released from a private mental institution in Norwalk, Connecticut.

Bailey also announced his next book, "The LAPD Killed Jesus Christ," will be released in 2012.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: O. J. Simpson

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