Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

image for The World's Dumbest Thief Makes Off With $1.5 Million In Gambling Casino Chips
An official deck of cards from the Bellagio Resort Gambling Casino. (Photo courtesy of 'First Mama' Michelle Obama).

LAS VEGAS - The Assistant Director of Casino Chips for the Bellagio Resort Gambling Casino, Sinclair Vindercullen, has informed The Tinsel Town Times Tribune that his casino was robbed of $1.5 million in casino chips.

Vindercullen stated, that he is confident that the chip thief will be caught within 24 hours if not sooner.

Surveillance cameras not only captured an excellent picture of the robber's face, but they also clearly showed his hotel room key, sticking out of his shirt pocket.

According to CNN's Larry King, who has retired, but who still has tremendous information informant sources, stated that the hotel room number, which was caught on tape is 1903.

The perp (as a perpetrator is called in police shows) has been tentatively identified as Tucker "Bubba" Fusscluck and he was wearing an Evil Knievel Commemorative Motorcycle Helmet, a Hells Devils Motorcycle Club denim jacket, Levi 501 Jeans, and pink Nike's.

The surveillance video shows him brandishing a Glock 9, a sawed off shotgun, a grenade launcher, and a Costa Rican banana machete.

The bandit (Fusscluck) took only high valued casino gambling chips opting to not bother with the lesser valued nickel and dime gambling chips.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: There is as yet an unsubstantiated story that the Bellagio Resort Gambling Casino Chip thief (Fusscluck) has been caught. The word on the street is that he was caught at the Lake Tahoe Lexus Dealership trying to purchase a 2011 Lexus with $55,000 in gambling casino chips.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Theft, Las Vegas, Casino

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