Written by Lady Godiva

Monday, 20 December 2010

image for Hunt on for hot tub burglary gang who take a dip in victims' pools
Cheeky burglars take dips in victims' hot tubs

Yes, 'cheeky burglars' abound in part of England. So far they have struck four times. Each time they have made a "clean" getaway.

Police are said to be looking for three 'squeaky-clean' men in their early 20s, according to forensic expert, Luke Infakloos of Shropshire, who gave us an interview this afternoon, saying,

"We have collected pubic hairs from all hot tubs involved and family members who use them - as well as friends. We are now trying to identify the culprits by using our newly puchased, enormously expensive PHIUK or Pubic Hair Inspection Unit Kubicle.

So far we have not had any hits as we have no pubic hairs from any convicted buglars in our system. But it's a start."

The family's who are victims of these crimes all say that they are NOT worried about the material goods stolen but ARE very worried about the fact that these burglars may have urinated in their hot tubs.

None of them have ventured into their tubs for a soak since the incidents, calling the thieves 'cheeky bastards'. Some are seeking therapy whilst others are just out buying lots of bleach and disinfectant.

More as this story unfolds.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Theft, Criminal, Swimming

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
51 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more