George W. Bush Recalls Drunken Adventures

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 19 November 2010

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"We Don't Want A Nukklar War!"

In several interviews about his new book, former President George W. Bush stated that he was once addicted to alcohol.

"Oh I wasn't one of those guys crawling around on my hands and knees, I was usually under the table."

Laura Bush also talked about it on "The View".

"We were all at a dinner at the Senior Bush family house and my husband was smashed and asked a guest if sex was still good after 50? Then he fell under the table. Then the lady got up and stated 'I'm not going down there.' But we could hear George snoring."

"I got pulled over for drunk driving more than one time but only arrested once. I guess they knew my dad."

However, when Matt Lauer asked him how he quit, he told Matt: "It became a love and, therefore, began to compete for my love with my wife and my daughters. Also dad would find me lying somewhere and begin kicking my ass until I got up and outran him."

Meanwhile on The View, Laurel Bush stated that George hadn't touched a drop in over eight years.

When was his last big binge?

"Oh, it was definitely right after he invaded Iraq. I think that after that when he had sobered up, he decided he'd never drink again. He felt so low that he had his dad come over and kick his ass around the Oval Office!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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