U.S. Demands That Karzai Resign

Funny story written by kslaught

Friday, 19 November 2010

image for U.S. Demands That Karzai Resign
Distracted By Civilian Casualties

The U.S. has demanded that Hamid Karzai step down as President of Afghanistan. The move was triggered by a recent outburst in which the President criticized NATO operations and, more importantly, upset General Petraeus.

"President Karzai is getting too distracted by peripheral matters, like civilian casualties," an anonymous source revealed. "We need someone in there who can keep his eye on the ball. Criticizing the General, that was the last straw."

A recent survey indicated that the average Afghan has no idea why foreigners are in his country, invading homes in the middle of the night. Incredibly, most have never even heard of the September 11 attacks on American soil. The U.S. wants to educate these folks about the importance of American lives, and of protecting our homeland from attack. Instead of doing that, Karzai is talking about protecting Afghans from attack.

"This is about American lives and it always has been," our source continued. "The concerns of ordinary Afghans are of secondary importance. We need everyone to be on the same page about that."

When I asked about the possibility of new elections, our source replied, "Oh, yes, there will be new elections. Once we pick the new guy, the CIA will make sure he wins. That's standard operating procedure - no need to deviate now. "

I then inquired if Karzai will be assassinated if he refuses to step down, and the source had this to say "Let's just say we will make him an offer he can't refuse, and leave it at that."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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