Winning Councilman Blows Off Election Day To Play With Doggie

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Winning Councilman Blows Off Election Day To Play With Doggie
Throat cancer sucks.

"I have no chance of actually winning," said Sherri Myers, who actually won.

For most elected officials, the climax of weeks and months of aggressive campaigning comes on election day, when they find out whether, as an elected official, they will begin to rake in illegal bribes and kickbacks.

For Florida's Sherri Myers, who thought she had no chance of winning, election day was better spent hanging out with her dying dog.

Except she did win. And her first act as Councilman-Elect was to blow off everyone.

"Sherri Myers didn't know she had narrowly defeated Courtney Peterson in Pensacola's District 2 race until Wednesday morning," said Oscar Myers, her lunch. "She had turned off her cell phone and missed calls Tuesday from the news media seeking comment about her victory."

"Look, I had no chance of winning," said 68-year-old attorney Myers, who will now sit on Pensacola's city council, if she can drag herself away from her doggie. "I mean, who would vote for me? I'm obviously a flake."

"So, I took my dog to Alabama for a day trip. The dog has throat cancer and is not expected to live much longer," said Myers, who is expected to name her dog her chief of staff.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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