Reid Out - Nevada Gone

Funny story written by Spicewood

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

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Senator Harry Reid announced today that if his state does not reelect him to the Senate, he will do everything in his power to outlaw gambling in Nevada. He stated further, "If Nancy loses her Speakers position, she is going to resign from the House, and join me in my crusade to take gambling out of the state, we are both very serious about this. After all I have done for this state, if they can't get me reelected I don't want to have anything to do with them, they can turn the whole damn state into a big amusement park for all I care."

"Hell, I even brought in stimulus money by the millions to the casinos, I got a million and a half for a Gamblers Anonymous group so they would have available money for those who "got off the wagon" to blow in the joints, yea, joints, that's what they are, gambling halls, gin joints, bust out houses, call them whatever you want, the ingrates, after all I've done for them," he concluded with.

He and Pelosi have started a Political Action Non-Profit Group, NMCIN (No More Casinos In Nevada) and with their clout have already raised over eighty-five million dollars to run TV ads prior to the election next week. The ads show Nevada as it was in the 30's, a barren wasteland, and sand covered casinos in Las Vegas. One shows the Welcome Podner Cowboy sign, crying and waving, "So Long Podner."

Reid indicated that the retaliation would start on Wednesday morning, the day after the election, "If the vote went the wrong way. Let's see how far they get without a Federal Gaming Stamp and a Nevada Gaming License.

The Nevada Gaming Commission issued this statement. "Without a Federal Gaming Stamp the casinos will have to shut down, there is nothing we can do. We have been warned by Reid that if he loses, he will pull all the Federal Stamps on all the casinos in Nevada. We'll be a state full of hotels and motels and bars, hookers and b-flats (entertainers) and nothing to draw the people. Maybe the golf courses and the pools will keep us afloat, but I doubt it. If Reid loses, the state goes under."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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