NPR Makes Good on Threat to 'Leave the Airwaves for Good'

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Thursday, 21 October 2010

image for NPR Makes Good on Threat to 'Leave the Airwaves for Good'
Paparazzi snapped this photo of NPR "clubbing it up" at L2 Lounge in Georgetown

Washington, D.C - National Public Radio finally made good on numerous previous threats to pack her bags and leave the air. After years of alluding to her unhappiness during assorted pledge-drives, she left home two days ago saying simply: "I am going to stay with a friend".

While the full effect of her sudden departure has yet to sink in, no one can say they didn't see it coming. Sources say that within hours she took to the local singles scene, immersing herself in binge-drinking and hanging out with a much younger crowd.

"My first thought was -- hey, that's cool, it's just someone's mom out mingling with her kid's friends or something. But then she started rubbing up against me, which was weird," said 7th-year pre-law student Knight Biggerstaff. "Then I saw what she was wearing: the impossibly short mini-skirt, the leopard print fanny-pack, the age-inappropriate shoes, you get the picture... By the time me and my buddies left the place at closing time, she was looking pretty fine."

While it's not clear what will happen next, one neighbor remarked: "she seemed so normal -- I had no idea she would up and leave!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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