The Real Reason Why The View's Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar Walked Out On Guest Bill O'Reilly

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for The Real Reason Why The View's Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar Walked Out On Guest Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly's hairdresser, Tatiana "Tattoos" Talafino says that O'Reilly is anti-gay but he has a gay cook and maid.

NEW YORK CITY - The View, which is filmed in New York City at 320 West 66th Street was the scene of quite a brouhaha when the show hosted Fox News conservative talk show host Bill O'Reilly.

O'Reilly began talking about how 911 was caused by a group of Muslims. One of the two black panelists Whoopi Goldberg objected saying that they were extremists. O'Reilly countered by saying that they were Muslims.

Then Joy Behar chimed in and said that the terrorists involved in 911 were terrorist and not Muslims as O'Reilly kept erroneously insisting.

Whoopi then called Bill a balding nincompoop. He turned to Whoopi and called her a black lesbianite. Joy then jumped in and called O'Reilly a GOP radical horse's ass. He turned to Joy and called her an overweight semi-white lesbianite.

Both Whoopi and Joy then stood up, shot the finger at O'Reilly, and proceeded to walk off the show.

Barbara Walters then told O'Reilly that he was wrong and that the people who brought down the twin towers were extremists. Even Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who is a hardcore Republican agreed with Walters, stood up, and gave her a fist bump.

O'Reilly turned to Hasselbeck and asked her whose friggin side she was on. Mrs. H. said that she was on the side of justice, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Sherri Shepherd who was sitting next to Hasselbeck shook her head and asked, "Girlfriend, what da hell did ja just say?"

Walters then turned to Bill and told him that Joy is not a lesbianite and that she did not think that Whoopi was one either.

O'Reilly said that according to Larry King, who knows everything about everyone, Whoopi is indeed gay and Joy is probably about 65 percent gay.

Barbara Walters shot back that 65 percent is way to high a number and O'Reilly told her to take it up with her ex-lover Larry King.

Walters stood up, got in O'Reilly's face, and yelled that the rumor about her and Larry was nothing but a pack of lies that had been started years ago by O'Reilly's ex-lover Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter.

O'Reilly then got in Walters' face and reminded her that Cloris Leachman had once told Ellen DeGeneres that her (Barbara) and Oprah Winfrey had once been seen at a Chicago Pizza Hut playing 'you touch my tit and I'll touch your tat' in the restaurant's dimly lit parking lot.

SIDENOTE: Before it was all over Barbara Walters and Elisabeth Hasselbeck had both walked off the show leaving Sherri Shepherd to babysit the mean mouthed Bill O'Reilly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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