Prescription-drug dealers throughout Queens County, NY are in shock over the death of a local roast-based comedian, after the funnyman died from a drug overdose.
The comedian died today --sources report he was in his mid-forties-- just a few days after he was hospitalized for an overdose.
"The comedian, whose name is being withheld, was brought to St. Peters hospital in New Brunswick, NJ after an accidental overdose," said a spokesman for the dead giggle-monkey. "Once it was determined he was white*, the comedian was transferred to Robert Wood Johnson, a real hospital, where he succumbed to his overdose."
"You know, it used to be that people could get sh-t-faced on prescription pills all-day long, and the media would focus on crack whores and junkies," said a not-so-famous writer who loves to take two Vicodin, a .50 mg Xanax and a yellow-Valium each night before bed. "Now these guys are exposing us for the hop-heads we are. F--kers."
Plans are being made for the dead comic's memorial service, to be held publicly. "We think he'll sell 4,500 seats, even with a $7.50 cover. He couldn't do that two weeks ago, and now his act is just him sitting in a pine box."
* This particular comic's parents are actually Central American and continental-Spanish. But he passed for Italian, so...