Written by anthonyrosania

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Ricki Lake And Butterfly McQueen: Shoulda Read The Instructions.
So, I should dump kerosene in the little blue ring, right? Ok... Ow, ok... Oww, ouch.

What does former talk-show host Ricki Lake and Oscar-winning actress Butterfly McQueen have in common?

Besides no chance of ever being in a movie again --McQueen died in 1995, and Lake is talentless-- both decided that it was a great idea to dump a flammable liquid into a hot portable heater, and both paid for that mistake.

Thelma "Butterfly" McQueen, born in 1911, won an Academy Award -- an incredible feat for an African-American actress, who wasn't allowed in the hall in which the award ceremony was held-- for her incredibly brilliant turn as Prissy, Scarlett O'Hara's maid in the 1939 film Gone with the Wind.

McQueen died December 22, 1995 in Augusta, Georgia as a result of burns received when a heater she was attempting to refuel burst, engulfing her in burning kerosene.

Ricki Lake miraculously only killed her rented home on Saturday when Lake was trying to refuel a portable heater when the couch caught on fire and quickly spread.

"There is a big f--king sticker right on the front of the heater," said Smokey the Bear. "It says, 'If you dump kerosene onto an open flame, you will die.' Fairly unambiguous, I'd think."

Lake's house, a lifelong atheist, donated its frame to general-contracting science. It is survived by a 2 1/2-story Colonial in Keyport, NJ and a treehouse in Philadelphia, PA.




Hats Off to EDITORS!

If you are one of the 58 people who stumbled upon this story, I'll assume it was not by searching either "Ricki Lake" or "Butterfly McQueen". While I did wish to use those names as searchable tags, the Powers That Be decided that the only relevant tag was "fire".

For their next trick, every story about September 11th will only have the tag "plane", and any stories about Man landing on the Moon will be tagged "vacation".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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