PORTLAND, Maine - The singer with the redundant name Lady Gaga will be appearing on the Snowman Tech University campus in Portland to be the featured speaker at a gay rally to shed light on the problem of gays in the military not being allowed to wear pink combat boots if they so desire.
Lady Gaga said that for years the members of the French military have been wearing pink underwear and no one has ever said a single solitary word about it.
She noted that there are some rough looking army troops in the African countries of Buffaranda and Upper Shabutu who have being wearing pink loincloths since before Tarzan was born.
Lady Gaga noted that she has written a special song for the event. She co-wrote the song with Adam Lambert and it is entitled, "Hey The Color Pink Is Just Not For Girls, Donald Trump Is Always Wearing Pink Ties, And I Don't Think He's Gay."
Also appearing on the same stage with Lady Gaga will be The New New Village People who will be performing their new song, "We Swish And We Sway 'Cause We're Definitely Gay."
Clay Aiken was also to appear at the event but had to cancel because he says that has to be the maid of honor at a friend's wedding in San Francisco.
SIDENOTE: The interesting thing about the whole ceremony is that there are only about 11 gays in the entire state and only 1 is in the military.