Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today starting getting in line to buy SuBo's new CD, despite it not being scheduled for release for several months. Red tents have started appearing outside music stores all over the US.
"I just had to have it first!" said some old dear speaking from her tent. "I had to get in line now. I didn't want them to run out!" continued the fanatic.
The tents are, of course, the best the fanatic's wealthy husband's money can buy. "I'm prepared to rough it!" said another fanatic. "My tent only has 4 rooms and just one butler, but I'm prepared to suffer to get Susan's CD first!" continued the fanatic while sipping chilled lemonade brought to her on a silver tray.
A PortaChurch is being driven to each location to offer blessings. "The fanatics have to pray, so we're bringing the church to them!" smiled the PortaChurch operatives. "We're also delivering specially blessed fish&chips and lemonade to the more needy fanatics," confirmed the operatives.
"The fanatics are reasonably well behaved, but a scuffle broke out last night when one fanatic accused another of being poor. We had to deploy the holy water cannon to separate them," grumbled the police. "Several old dears with red scarves were rushed to their accountants to make sure their husbands were still rich," continued the police.
As night fell, the fanatics could be heard singing SuBo songs around a camp fire. "This is all too exciting for me! I need a new Depends!" said some old dear.
"I haven't even finished recording the bloody thing yet!" said SuBo.
Meanwhile, a spokesperson for SuBo Loonies Intergalatic, Inc. confirmed that they are to launch their own version of Irn Bru in the US. "Well, since we saw Susan holding a bottle of it once, our fanatics have been asking where they can get some. Ever the entrepreneurs, we decided to make and sell our own. We will be launching SuBru through our Tacky Gift Shop soon!"