Yes, it's true. The Hog Jaw Restaurant has, indeedy, added a new item to its menu.
This is, indeed, a great surprise to residents of Hog Jaw, who have lovingly enjoyed choosing from the five items on the regular menu for over three decades.
The NEW item added to the menu IS 'SURF AND TURF'.
Now, many 'readers' will mos' likely be f'milure with this item. It is A HOTDOG which has been cut, with a very sharp knife, into 8 'arms''. It sits on top of three fish fingers and is a treat to behold with them thar eyes and them thar taste buddies.
The 'Supersized' version is available upon request. This meal is succulently adorned with 2 small shrimp,which yer have te cook yerself with your liddle ol lighter, so as to keep them as fresh as we can keep em for your delite.
The Restaurant is currently advertising for new chefs. This is a direct result of the Restaurant facing Bankruptcy,
The ownners HÀVE appealed to Gordon Ramsey to come to their rescue, but he has, (and we have no proof of this) said that he wouldn't come anywhere near this establishment even with a ten foot barge pôle, multiple 'shots' and a blessing from Jesus himself.
Never you mind. We WILL keep this Restaurant open come Hell or high water.
We are currently in talks with The Hairy Bikers and Fanny Craddock's representatives as well as the people who own and run 'The Shed' in Port Dover Ontario (who will deny all knowledge of this if you try to contact them).