The Bill Reprieved! Moves To Hog Jaw As Latest CSI.

Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Thursday, 26 August 2010

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The Bill's latest recruit?

Fans of doomed Brit cop show The Bill were celebrating last night following the announcement that it had been reprieved.

Its new home will be Hog Jaw, Arkansas, USA.

The ITV show, about the hard-pressed cops at Sun Hill nick in London, was set to end this autumn after 27 years on air.

But US producer Jerry Bruckheimer believes it's just what he needs for his successful TV franchise CSI.

CSI's current three shows are set in Las Vegas, New York and Miami.

A spokesman for Bruckheimer said: "Jerry's a big fan of The Bill. When he heard it was going to be axed he got us to contact the makers to discuss taking it over.

"We're going to relocate it to Hog Jaw, Arkansas, and give it a rocking theme tune by The Who - probably 5.15 or Join Together. It won't be exactly like our other CSI shows - it'll be more hum-drum, less glamourous.

"One idea Jerry is considering seriously is a novel team member - like a ghost, or superhero, alien or robot.

"But he insists that the show's gritty realism will remain."

Rumours from inside the Bruckheimer organisation include the possibility of casting Julia Roberts as a pathologist with a stormy marriage and an eating disorder, and Brendan Fraser as the unit's troubled but generous-hearted gay lieutenant.

"We're pretty excited about the noises being made by some of the actors we've approached. We wanted to get a couple of star names on board, and it's looking very good."

(Additional reporting by Mrs Fields)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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