Declassified documents reveal Canada plotting to "...separate Northern US states from the rest of Jesusland"

Written by shea lo

Monday, 9 August 2010

image for Declassified documents reveal Canada plotting to "...separate Northern US states from the rest of Jesusland"

While America has been busy abroad: dividing and splitting failing regimes, sleeping with dictators, bribing and praising anti-US military leaders and funding-arming 'good' terrorists - something unusual has been going on - albeit surreptitiously - north of the 49th parallel

The American media - overly focused on the Tea Party shenanigans and "golly-gawrsh we're not racist" behavior of the southern Confederacy - has taken its eye off its 'friendly neighbor' Canada - the True North Strong & Free.

Newly released documents state that those 'harmless ole' cheesehead Canucks have quietly been working on a plan to slowly absorb the entire northern United States into Greater Canada.

A slow eye in Sarah Palin's Teepee Party noticed that Canada had taken to referring to the USA as the "UN-TIED STATES OF AMERICA".

"Ummmm at first we didn't like notice it, cos in America and in school.... and like me specially ...can't really spell. But mommie tweeted that a Leakiwicks guy was like on the internets and we had to refudiate Canada - cos- they're ummm... like close to Alaska", said Piper Palin (PP) the youngest Palin daughter who is paid 1 million dollars to do the "Clippings" program if she "promised not to run with scissors in her hand".

Anonymous Canadian officials pooh-pooed the Palin drama saying :

"Our loonie's on the up-and-up eh, the US greenback is down. You do the math. But just to show you we have good intentions we are offering you Alberta eh, as a sign of good faith"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more