Washington AC/DC - (Snake-in-the-Grass News): The ubiquitous 'Did the earth move for you, darlin'?' took on a new, troubling meaning today shortly after 5.04am EDT.
A 3.6 tremor epicentered on the White House Queen's Bedroom was felt as far away as Langley, Virginia where worried spooks are still tracking Anna Chapman moles.
According to the White House website the palatial bedroom suite is said 'to be sometimes used by presidents to reward friends and political supporters'.
Quite what that entails is best left to the imagination.
However surreptitious CIA bugging of the stunning 18th century four poster bed - adapted with still rings, high bar and an all-purpose pommel whorse - has consistently yielded extraordinary results.
"Sure as hell someone was bein' rewarded up there last night," a Spoof Langley insider commented today, "someone with a massive piledriver between the legs!"
The ID of the seismograph busting athlete and his/her companion is expected to be revealed at the weekend.