Barefoot Bandit Steps on Nail, Cops Track Bloody Footprint

Funny story written by Charpa93

Sunday, 11 July 2010

image for Barefoot Bandit Steps on Nail, Cops Track Bloody Footprint
First "Ride" Barefoot Bandit Stole at Age 3

For two years, Colton Harris-Moore, age 19, dubbed the "Barefoot Bandit" has been on the run from police for a string of vehicle-themed thefts including several cars, a few airplanes and half a dozen boats. He was finally caught in the Bahamas after Bahamian police tracked down a bloody footprint that led them to the beach cabana Harris-Moore had stolen from a local vendor. Some say he stole vehicles because he didn't own a pair of shoes and walking was difficult for him. It is ironic that his bare feet are what finally brought him to justice.

Earlier in the week, news reporters were able to interview Harris-Moore's proud mother, Pam Kohler, who claims that Colton had always been a precocious child. "At the age of 3, we caught him stealing the neighbors' Big Wheels. We must have had 6 or 7 different Big Wheels in our garage. He'd take them out for a spin and ride right past the kids he stole them from as if to thumb his nose in their faces."

Kohler claims Colton was always bringing something home that didn't belong to him. When he was 5, he graduated from Big Wheels to stealing the neighbor girl's Power Wheels Barbie, a pink motorized corvette. We have pictures somewhere around here," she said, "and a video I think. If you want, I'll try and dig them out for you. I've always tried to keep memories of Colton because something told me that someday he'd be gone for a really long time and all I'd have are the photos and videos to remember him by." Kohler says she isn't surprised that Colton stole airplanes, crashed them, and lived to tell about it. "He's always been an amazing kid," said Kohler, "as a mother, I couldn't be prouder. Good for him. At least he found something he's good at and has stuck with it. It won't be long before he breaks out of jail and starts up all over again."

Because of his "Jessie James-like lifestyle" Harris-Moore has developed quite a following on the internet by young people who see him as a modern-day hero. In fact, most of his fans say they wouldn't be surprised if he gets his own reality show out of this, and if he does, they say it would be the biggest hit on television.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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