Written by goldie 206

Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for EU on war footing. Surprise attack on USA iminent!
EU tactical fighter bombers prepare to attack the US.

American spies working in Europe have uncovered secret plans to attack America.

Britain, angered by Obamas retoric against, BP will lead the first wave by bombing the statue of Liberty followed by Kraft/Cadbury's Chocolate manufacturers factory and the collaborating Argentine embassy.

Germany will form a pincer movement on Washington because they haven't had a war for ages and miss the fun.

The French are waiting to see how the first wave of strikes go and have stars and stripes flags ready "just in case".

The Italians being upset by the clampdown on their brothers in the Mafia have oiled the reverse gears on their Tanks that are still new from the last war in readiness for the inevitable retreat.

Greece whose economy has been totally shagged plan to land beach craft at night in New York harbour and ransack all the designer shops to sell the gear in ATHENS.

Spain and Portugal will be waiting off shore with wine for the victorious EU army but if things go wrong they have weapons to repel the same army.

Uboats are waiting to pounce undetected disguised as "Jaws".

A bust of Winston Churchill is ready mounted on the first tank to land and recordings of his uplifting words will bolster the army to fight till the death- words like "we will fight them on the beaches and in Florida" will echo around the streets of Chicago.

A secret meeting has been detected with the EU forces and the Native American Indians who have stockpiled mountains of bows and arrows ready to take back their country from the "pale face".

Geronimos great grandson "Running Bear" a New York real estate broker (and enthusiastic naturist) has prepared a plan to scalp all the bank workers who have destroyed the worlds economy so much that the Indian nations can no longer afford "fire water".

The war is expected to last nearly a week before the US is overpowered because taking Yanks prisoners requires heavy lifting gear.

There could be a chance to avert war if America agreed to certain conditions:

1. To promise to make smaller cars.

2. To Lock up Simon Cowell

3. To castrate Tiger Woods

4. To give Cadburys back

5. To keep Heather Mills

6. To destroy Jack Daniels factory and buy Scotch

7. To stop saying "we have a special relationship with Britain and ripping us off".

And last of all get rid of the Muppet in the White House.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
65 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more