WALTER REED HOSPITAL (ABSNN) -- Army physicians conducting a MRI of Senator Robert Byrd Democrat from West Virgina, were stunned to discover that where his brain should be was, instead, a 4.5-billion-year-old fossil corporolite (dung) which proved, as many Senate Republicans have been positing for years, "he has shit for brains."
Senator Byrd is the longest serving member of the US Senate, and the second member of the Ku Klux Klan to obtain that status. Strom Thurmond was the first.
President Barack Obama told reporters, "Isn't it amazing that that old, racist, son of a bitch has been able to do so much good with a head full of fossil crap!"
Byrd's office replied, "Oh, yeah, I boned your momma!"
Actually, they did not say that, I quoted Obama's campaign slogan for the upcoming presidential election, but that is another story.
What the President really said was, "It is an uncommon man who can rise above the dirt and grime of the West Virginia coal fields and learn to play the violin."
Although this is not an Op-Ed piece, I'd like to second the Republican response.