An unidentified flying braincell was seen flying across Colorado this afternoon, and local police and news stations were quick to react to the unusual situation.
Larimer county Sheriff Jim Aldmoron said that his officers were convinced that they were dealing with an alien braincell encounter, and he quickly called a press conference to explain what was happening.
'The braincell was seen at 13:04 hours', he said, 'and we put out an APB on the CB to get the DUH squads alerted and self-important. Then we sent up a LukeSkywalker XXX helicopter with 'Fries' to monitor the situation, and to give the TV news stations here a story, as nothing has happened in these parts since 1802.'
And on local cable news station INBRED, reporter Dom Yanki said: 'The braincell was first spotted as it passed over the house of Mr. and Mrs. Keene. 'I just couldn't believe it!', Mr. Keene said from his garden, where he builds balloons and then fills them with hot publicity gas. 'I was just checking what my three sons were doing and where they were, when this large braincell flew over the house!'
'After doing what good Americans always do at times of crisis, which is to panic and cry, then run round in circles and blame Muslims for it, I called the police. At first they didn't believe a braincell could exist in the USA, but after pleading with them they decided maybe I wasn't a crank hoaxer, and went after the cell.'
The braincell was followed by the police helicopter for miles, until suddenly its power mysteriously failed and it floated down to earth. After surrounding it with a hundred TWIT officers, Sheriff Aldmoron cautiously approached the cell.'
'Come out with your commie, Muslim, Jewish, liberal-loving hands in the air!', he said, and when there was no reply he opened the cell's door. 'Nobody in here!', he shouted back to his men, as he had obviously been expecting this almost lighter than air braincell to have English-speaking humans in it, and still be able to fly.
President Barack Obama sent a message of support to the county sheriff and his men, saying: 'We can now see how this braincell threatened the mightiest country in the world, the mighty country that votes ham actors and movie stars with alzheimer's and drunken chimpanzees as Presidents. Let us not say 'No we can't', when a braincell flies across this great nation, let us say instead 'We wish we had more braincells'.'
'For Sheriff Aldmoron has shown the finest of American qualities - he fell for a hoax, he panicked and blamed Muslims, he believed in American TV news, which is all lies, he felt self-important about doing nothing much, and he still doesn't get that he's been taken for a mug. With such qualities he sure deserves to be the next President of the United States of America.'
Meanwhile, the USAF was training its pilots to spot any flying braincells, especially ones that have the ability to avoid New York City defense systems twice in one day. Sheriff Aldmoron was nominated for the 2010 Nobel American Brains Are A Piece Of Cheese Prize.
