US Attorney General Still Hasn't Read Law

Funny story written by SirBeavis

Thursday, 27 May 2010

image for US Attorney General Still Hasn't Read Law
Another law yet to be read by Eric Holder

US Attorney General Eric Holder admitted he did not read the Arizona immigration law. The mainstream media ignored this shocking admission. When it was pointed out to Holder that the Arizona law specifically prohibited the use of race as probable cause to inquire into a persons immigration status, while the US law he supports allows race to be the only factor establishing probable cause, Holder stated "I've had no need to read that law either."

Upon further questioning, Holder pointed out, "We in the executive branch no longer read most laws, We have paid unbiased staffers who inform us of the necessary points of the law as soon as Moveon.org, George Soros, Media Matters, the SEIU, ACORN, HCAN, AFLCIO, AARP, AFSCME and other progressive groups let them know what to tell us."

When asked to name a few laws he has read, Holder stated it would be easier to list a few he hasn't read and released a 300 page list of unread laws including the following:

  • The Bill Of Rights
  • The Entirety Of The US Constitution
  • Federal Immigration Law
  • Uniform Commercial Code
  • Anything Relating to Obama Care
  • The Entirety Of The United States Code
  • The USA PATRIOT Act
  • National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2010
  • The Honest Leadership and Open Government Act
  • The Protect America Act of 2007


In defense of Holder, White House Press Secretary Robert "Dances Around The Question Like A Ballerina" Gibbs stated, If there is a law important enough for the President, The Attorney General or the Secretary Of Homeland Security to actually read, I'm sure the Center for American Progress and the Progressive Policy Institute will fill us in."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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