Local dwarf Stewart Drubbins, 31, has told friends in the local pub that he has all the answers to the economic problems facing the World today. But, the cheeky little fucker is refusing to give any details of his plan.
The local barman Frank Williams said that Drubbins whispered something into his ear last week about "financial recovery plans in 5 easy steps", but when questioned, the little bastard just smiled and sipped his pint of cider.
Another man reported overhearing Drubbins muttering about "economic salvation" while he had a piss in a toilet cubicle alongside the little man. When he turned to ask Drubbins about this, the dwarf had fled and the man was left with a wet patch all down his trouser leg.
Drubbins - who unsuccessfully ran for local mayor 3 years ago on a platform of legalising fairy circles - has told members of the press gathered outside his council house to "fuck off!" and to stop bothering him while he watched Coronation Street.
The president of America as well as several other world leaders have tried to get in touch to hear what his great plan is but Drubbins has kept silent and continued to simply mutter to himself and stare at others in a menacing manner down the pub and in the local shops.