Pat Robertson Blames Economy on 2002 Bush Wanking Incident

Written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Pat Robertson Blames Economy on 2002 Bush Wanking Incident
Melons Magazine is in the top drawer

Spilling the details of a private conversation had between himself and former president George W. Bush, Pat Robertson tells reporters that the current economic state is a result of God's punishment for Bush enjoying a personal "Wank" in the privacy of the oval office back in 2002.

"Sex is a sacrament ordained by God and meant to be performed between a married man and woman, period. Tossing off into the presidential waste basket, courtesy of the new Melons Magazine centerfold, is a sin. I think Mr. Robertson is clear on that", says Robertson aid and personal assistant, Virgil Nevirlayd.

Bush, immediately released a statement denying the accusation, saying that he is a happily married man, completely satisfied by his wife of "X number of years", and that the "Tossing off" claim is completely false.

Insiders on the white house staff from 2001 to 2009 don't necessarily agree. One aide who chose to remain nameless, which is good because it's difficult to keep coming up with fictitious names, tells reporters, "Well, I know for a fact that Cheney would leave a fresh copy of the magazine in Bush's top drawer, along with a fresh box of tissues. You draw your own conclusion".

Obama was relieved finally to have received confirmation that economic woes in 2010 could incontrovertibly be tied back to his predecessor.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more