Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for Co-Joined Twins Win Three Legged Race
Mary and Terry, without their running shoes.

A pair of co-joined/cojoined twins, Mary and Terry McBriar, won the annual three legged race at the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure festivities in Chicago. As the twins are joined at the hip and have only three legs, no cords or ties were needed to make them eligible for the race.

"We knew that our birth defect would eventually help us in some way, and we are happy that it came in such an auspicious event," said Mary McBriar. "We're happy to lend our name and limited fame to this very famous race and do what we can to stop the spread of this horrid disease."

Terry, however, was not as pleased with their performance. "What the hell do you mean there's no prize money? You think I'm coming out here and working up a sweat for some cancer charity crap and running my ass off to pull that dead weight sister of mine for just a t-shirt?"

Mary tried to deflect her sister's outrage in front of reporters and other racers, but seemed unable to control her twin's temper.

Terry's rant continued as her sister and their boyfriends tried to pull her across the parking lot to their mini-van. "I win this race in Chicago and don't get big prize money, don't get to go on Oprah, don't get free tickets to a Bulls game, and am expected to be happy with a certificate of appreciation and a t-shirt?"

"Who the hell is this Komen woman anyway? Bring her on so I can kick her ass!"

When told that Susan died in 1980 at the age of 36 from breast cancer, Terry said "Then isn't it a little late to be racing for a cure for her? Maybe someone ought to tell her family that they can tone down the optimism and maybe buy her some flowers for the headstone."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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