Bush Becomes Iraqi President Ahead Of U.S. Elections

Funny story written by Moral Volcano

Wednesday, 8 September 2004

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The New "Iraqi" President

Iraqi state television announced yesterday evening that U.S. President George W. Bush has been elected the new Iraqi president. Bush will be taking over from the former "interim" President Ghazi Yawer.

In a "Yes-or-No" vote conducted last week, the current U.S. President is said to have won an overwhelming victory to become the Iraqi President. Even though the country was suffering from record unemployment and gross mismanagement of the economy, Bush had reminded the voters that their lives were safe only if they voted "Yes."

The "Yes-or-No" elections were pioneered by the country's former dictator Saddam Hussein, who won each time they were conducted. There was only one candidate in these elections and Iraqi people typically voted "Yes."

Prior to the election, President Bush was made an honorary Iraqi citizen by the "interim" Iraqi parliament on the advice of the "interim" Prime Minister Iyad Allawi. There were several disturbances in several places in Iraq today after the news was announced. Prime Minister Allawi warned people to stay at home. He told the media that protesters would be carted off to the Abu Ghraib Freedom Prison and given Freedom executions.

International reactions to the announcement was muted and many nations were still trying to comprehend the situation. But, Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe was the first world leader to congratulate President Bush. He said that Bush had always been an "inspiration" to Third World leaders like him.

When Bush met reporters in Washington, he said that the Nazi-style Republican Party convention held in New York last week did not yield the kind of boost he had expected in the opinion polls. Hence, he decided to gain tactical advantage by becoming Iraqi President ahead of November elections. Bush said that his action would help the war against terror and make America "more safe." More important, he said, Kerry would be unable to match him now.

As Iraqi President, Bush said he would invade neighboring Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. He said he was not interested in their oil wealth, but wanted to establish democracy in these countries. Bush promised he would eventually give Kuwait back Kuwaitis and Saudi Arabia back to Saudi Arabians.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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