North Pole - Santa Claus has filed a class action lawsuit against the United States stemming from what Santa says was specific targeting of him, his sleigh and his reindeer.
Santa Claus claims that last Wednesday he was doing preliminary flight tests over and around Norway in preparation for the coming holiday season when the U.S. used it's secret HAARP project to send Santa spiraling out of control.
Santa says he is fed up with the blatant disregard for holiday dignitaries. He also claims that the U.S. is responsible for the recent global warming after they "accidentally" targeted and destroyed Jack Frost as he was making his annual winter trip.
Also listed as a witness is Frosty the Snow Man. The AP tried to get a statement from Frosty but he has refused comment until the trial. Sources close to Frosty say his complaints arise from the fact that lately he has had to use artificial frosting to maintain his figure.
Santa Clause meanwhile states that the well known Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer has suffered irreparable damage to his nose which leads to constant flickering and Santa having to use GPS for navigation. Some aspects of the case are classified due to National Security.
The U.S. issued a statement late yesterday which claims Santa is mistaken and the U.S. is surprised at the accusations after years of cooperation between NORAD and Santa.
