Bin Laden To Rebuild Death Star.

Funny story written by Loosh

Thursday, 3 December 2009

image for Bin Laden To Rebuild Death Star.
Death Star. Tiny little vulnerable hole.

Work has begun on the third incarnation of the universally feared Death Star.

Financing the project is Osama Bin Laden and the USA. We spoke to him from his cave in Afghanistan.

"I first met Darth Vader back in '83. We sparked up quite a relationship, he loves killing people and so do I! It's a match made in the star's, so to speak."

"Since the Emporer was brutally killed by the Rebel Alliance, Vader has been looking for a way back in to the evil dictator game. We saw this as a way back to the top, and with the Death Star obviously I can bring about total Jihad to all the Western scum in one hit!"

The history of the Death Star has been a rocky one. The first incarnation, or Death Star 1, was destroyed by Luke Skywalker firing a proton torpedo into a small exhaust port. It was akin to shooting 'wamp rats' on his homeplanet.

The second incarnation, or Death Star 2, was not even complete when the terrorist organisation struck again. Turning off the shield generator, insurgents flew to the reactor core and destroyed the half built killing machine.

Lord Vader said "Pssshhh-Coorr we are not to make the same mistake again. The Rebels will be defeated. Bin Laden and I will crush the Alliance."

"The location for the new build site will be kept under wraps," said Bin Laden, "if the Rebels get wind of it, it could be bye-bye number 3. These terrorists are nothing if not persistent. I should know!"

In typical backwards logic, the USA and it's allies are helping to fund Bin Laden with the build, but are strictly opposed to the plans. The workforce will be predominantly Eastern European.

"Some have said that the build quality is not right with the Eastern Euro's, but I disagree," said Bin Laden, "they work hard, they work cheap, and in the current climate that's what counts."

"This really is a massive task, but once it is complete, and it will be, I hope to kill you all!" he finished.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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