Jennifer Lopez on dangerous women

Funny story written by howy

Monday, 30 November 2009

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Jennifer Lopez spoke at a student conference at Harvard University to voice her concerns that some women in society are extremely dangerous because they are controlled by their DNA.

She argues that women that are twenty-five years and older have a low libido and health problems that cause them to make false allegations against male judges, male police officers, and male political leaders.

Lopez said these women cause a spending deficit of over 24 million dollars each year in prison cost, court cost and law enforcement expenses.

Lopez said, "All these cost can be averted by informing men which women they should date and marry and which ones are not genetically suited for procreation."

Physiology teacher, Mary Jason said that women typically lose their libido at the age of twenty-five. They are less receptive towards men and are more likely to lie about men because they don't see men as a valuable addition to their lives.

Decreased libido is due to lowered levels of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone which decline as a woman ages.

Lopez only recommends that men date and marry women between the ages of eighteen years old and twenty-five years old so they can have their families without running into a disaster.

Lopez says, "I am concerned about the human race and I find women over the age of twenty-five to be irrelevant sexual competitors that are harming human society."

Mary Jason said there are other medical problems associated to women in old age that also cause them to make false allegations against men. She said these conditions are vaginisum, pre-menopause problems, post menopause problems, mastalgia and PMS.

Older women feel pain because they are drier and less elastic and this causes them to be more resentful against men.

They feel irritated when men are around them and they attack men that come close to them with false allegations. "A false allegation is the most lethal attack a woman can use against a man.", said Mary Jason.

Mary also said that women who get older have a decreased ability to produce children with a rise in health problems such as fertility problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, miscarriage, placenta previa(a condition in which the placenta is in the wrong place and covers the cervix), cesarean section, a baby with a genetic disorder. Older women can also die during pregnancy if they have a chronic medical condition, such as diabetes, a seizure disorder or high blood pressure or are on long-term medication

Since younger women have stronger bodies, they are more able to give birth to more babies without dying during the birthing process.

Jennifer Lopez ended her speech by saying, "Older women should be avoided like the plague."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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