Jennifer Lopez Breaks Seclusion, Seeing Bea Arthur At Night

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

image for Jennifer Lopez Breaks Seclusion, Seeing Bea Arthur At Night
"Mozel tov, mozel tov!"

Jennifer Lopez finally revealed to reporters why she has avoided everyone over the past several days. When speculation began about her having the Swine Flu, her manager insisted she make a statement.

"No, I do not have the Swine Flu", stated J-Lo. "It's these nightmares of Bea Arthur keeping me up all night. At least I hope they're nightmares!"

In a recent report in The Hollywood Heads, it was revealed that the two had fussed over their making of similar movies when Arthur died. Although Lopez says they made up near the end, Arthur must have had her fingers crossed.

"Last night she began singing that awful thing in Fiddler On The Roof where Tevye has the scary dream. Arthur was in that show because I saw it several years ago."

"The night before she began berating me and calling me Archie Bunker and that I had ruined her daughter's wedding. Then Carroll O'Conner appeared and they starting singing together like he and Edith used to do when All In The Family came on. Then they fussed all night."

"She said tonight she and Estelle Getty would be by. If they start arguing, they'll be worse than her and that O'Connell. I have GOT to get some sleep!"

J-Lo then took off with her manager and a couple of bodyguards to have a priest try to drive out the specters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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