Infernal Revenue Service HQ, Underground Lair - The IRS announced today a new program to dash the hopes of the poor and middle class workers of America, and the upper-middle class Americans to boot.
A new program is being developed to specifically focus on the richest and wealthiest citizens of the United States, and is expected to find more of their assets than ever before, even the ones hidden overseas.
Given the recession, this is regarded as particularly bad news amongst the nation's "have nots". "Well, in general, I kind o' like seein' the rich get over on the guvment.", said Clem Cadiddlehopper of South Bend, Arkansas. "After all, iff'n they caint get over on the guvment, what chance do us plain folk have?"
"Amen.", said Tanner Doogan of Chicago, Illinois. "What the hell do any of us bust ass for if not to get rich enough to get the government off our backs?"
But now it's even worse, and Obama's recession is to blame. Said Clem, "Trouble is, them rich folk, they can only buy so many yachts and furs. Most o' their money is used to make more money, like by buildin' new factories and such. Factories mean jobs. Factories mean stuff for the missus to buy. Factories and new companies are what keep us alive and dreamin'. Now the IRS is goin' to stop all that."
Indeed. And at a time when America needs as much capital in the hands of it's most proven productive members as possible, the IRS - like the fool who proposes a sanitation engineer's strike during a plague - is going after the rich, to deprive them of the very capital needed to help America recover.
Reached for comment, President Obama said, "What problem? Sure, we'll be taking all that capital out of the hands of America's most intelligent citizens. But then we in the government can spend it on bail outs to those who ran their corporations into the ground. And they can hire a few more of the poor for awhile, before they go bankrupt again."
"Besides", the President continued, "This is an IRS program designed to target the wealthy - Presidents and others with political power are still exempt."