Mark Hacking Medical School Application Found!

Funny story written by Morgan Truce

Thursday, 5 August 2004

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CHAPEL HILL, NORTH CAROLINA (AP) Officials at the UNC-Chapel Hill School of Medicine have located the application sent in by Mark Hacking -- the Salt Lake City man recently charged with the murder of his wife, Lori Hacking.

Axalla Hoole, MD Chair, Admissions Committee said, "My secretary found Mark Hacking's application early this morning. For several weeks the form had been misfiled with applications for the UNC School of Meat Cutting. We apologize for the mistake.

"I have had just a few hours to review the application, but it seems Mark Hacking has met all the requirements for admission to our medical school.

"He took courses in Molecular Biology, Organic Chemistry, and English while in community college and has a solid 2.15 grade point average -- which puts him in the upper 5% of all medical school applicants.

"We also noticed that Mark Hacking has exhibited a special talent for dissection that will help him to become a fine doctor in the near future.

"His hand written application exhibited the kind of illegible penmanship that we encourage all medical school candidates to master. UNC-Chapel Hill School of Medicine makes every effort to recruit top students like Mark Hacking, and we hope he will attend our school this coming semester -- or as soon as he is released from jail"

Meanwhile in the Salt Lake City jail, Mark Hacking spoke with Spoof reporter Morgan Truce: "See? I told everyone that I was going to medical school and no one believed me! Lori kept on accusing me of lying about getting accepted into medical school. That really pissed me off! I guess I showed her," said Hacking with a broad smile.

"I always wanted to be a doctor. Even when I was a little kid I started practicing dissecting animals. I started with frogs and mice, but before long I moved up to dogs and larger animals.

"I'm pretty good at dissecting with a scalpel and knife. You know, they don't call me 'Hacking' without good reason!

"Just as soon as all these charges against me are dropped, I'll be taking my new mattress and heading down to North Carolina. I just can't wait to start medical school. I want to be a real famous surgeon some day!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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