Scandal Rocks San Francisco Transgender Sports Gathering

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Sunday, 13 September 2009


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Rival Patricia Nylons called Semencaster "a real bitch."

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tests results were released today proving that controversial runner Enya Semencaster is in fact a woman, but not also a man, bringing scandal to the San Francisco Trangender Sports Gathering and rocking the city's she-male community to its core.

The 18-year-old South African immigrant has a womb and ovaries, but no penis or testes, and her testosterone levels are typical of those in a normal female, according to reports.

The tests, ordered by the San Francisco Association of Transgendered Athletes after Semencaster's 800-meter victory, determined she is not actually a hermaphrodite.

Rivals claim the lack of extra "equipment" to conceal and her "natural ability" to run in heels gave her an unfair advantage, so Semencaster could be stripped of the gold medal she won in San Francisco last month.

Rival Patricia Nylons, who finished just fractions of a second behind Semencaster, called her "a real bitch."

"Just look at her," he/she told journalists. "Little 'Miss Thing' over there doesn't even have a 'thing!' She has no 'business,' so she has no business being in this competition.

"Clearly, she's having some identity issues," he/she said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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